Scum of the Earth

Sooo...been a while...
I need to vent and I need to get this out in the open. I feel like the scum of the very earth right now. Not because I hurt somebody or I did something that will land me in jail. I was dishonest academically.
Yes folks that's right I fucking plagiarized one of my papers for a class and I got caught.
Normally I wouldn't do this but I've been struggling so much this semester that I just wasn't thinking. I have never done this before and dear god I am so ashamed of myself. I just about want to break down and cry and sob. I might actually do that later today...it might make me feel better. But really. What I did was inexcusable. It was dishonest. Oh hell lets just say it! It was fucking lazy! I procrastinated on this assignment for fuck's sake! I know I did. And I am trying to damned hard to not do that anymore. I mean yeah I learned form it...but still it hurts.
Its kind of like that scene in the Lion King when Rafiki and Simba talk about the past.
"Yes the past can hurt. but you can either run from it or learn from it."
So very very true. And sometimes even if you learn from it it still can hurt and haunt.
I could go on and on about how I never should have done this and what not but I won't. I know it was wrong I know I shouldn't have done it and that reflects badly upon me. I have learned to not do it again...and if I consult an outside source for a paper I will make sure to credit it as it deserves.
Now if you will excuse me I nee dot go cry, sob, possibly throw up, and try to get over this.