Tuesday, June 11, 2013

Trust



It was almost nine by the time they returned to the flat and Lotte couldn’t have been more relieved. After the humiliation of being shoved into dress after dress then having to put up with her insufferable overprotective brother she was glad to be back. At least here there wouldn’t be anyone to bug her or push at her buttons as Roy or Max enjoyed doing from time to time. She wasn’t quite alone however. Her saving grace for the day was Ronon. Granted she had given him permission to ditch her and Leon at the boutique earlier. Truth was she really didn’t want him to witness the embarrassment of trying on ridiculous dresses and she knew that he would rather not have sat around and waited for her to finish. Ronon wasn’t one to sit idly for long. Only if he was sleeping. She trudged a bit towards the hall, the purchase from earlier that day clutched in her hand and sighed. All she wanted now was something sweet, sweet cream, preferably, and something savory, Ronon. The two together sounded like a good combination and even a blush crept on her cheeks when she imagined the large man naked, with certain areas of his anatomy painted in the cream. She felt them burn even as the image morphed into him licking the cream off of her body and it wasn’t helping the growing desire she had for him. Finally she decided to set the bag with her dress in the room and flicked on the light. She needed a moment to breathe so she wouldn’t pounce upon Ronon like a lion going for the kill. He wasn’t prey. Hell he could easily pin her down and have his dirty way with her if he wanted and she wouldn’t have the strength to fight him back. But he showed her he wasn’t the type to take what he wanted from a woman. No sir. He was gentle with her, took his time to make her feel good, and because of this she trusted him. She trusted that he knew what he was doing and would make the experience of sex feel amazing. These thoughts reeled through her mind and were broken when he heard the deep gruff voice behind her.
“Lotte?”
She let out a small ‘eep’ before turning to him, her cheek still flushed ever so slightly. He couldn’t help but smile a little at the sound she made and how cute she looked when she blushed.
“Sorry I just needed a moment.” She replied her eyes reluctant to meet his.
“S’okay.” He shrugged slightly but reached out to cup her cheek in his hand and leaned down to kiss her tenderly. She couldn’t resist. Lotte loved kissing him. He was just so gentle about the way he kissed her. She moaned softly against his lips as she cupped his face in her hands, smiling as she stroked his cheek but he drew away slightly.
“You mentioned something about having dessert here this morning.” He reminded her.
“I did didn’t I. Figure it might be better than having it at Roy’s place.” She replied sliding past him to get to the kitchen.
“You got anything in mind?”
Lotte paused and turned to him a small smile on her face.
“Angel food cake, with strawberries and cream.”
She turned to head into the kitchen but paused when he grasped her wrist in his hand.
“Skip the cake.”
Lotte raised a questioning brow at him but as soon as she did the image of him licking cream off of her entered her mind and she blushed furiously again. Oh sweet Ishvaala… she thought and heaved a sigh to try and clear her thoughts but it was ineffective. She felt his lips press against hers again and almost couldn’t handle it so she pulled away but placed her hands upon his shoulders.
“Why don’t we skip dessert altogether and save it for later…”
She felt heat rise between her loins when she touched him and remembered the deal she made with him when they were on Sateda as runners. If they got out alive, she would shag him so hard he wouldn’t be able to walk the next day. If there was anyone in the world that Lotte would fuck it was Ronon.
She trusted him with her mind body and soul, and he must have caught the scent of her arousal because he released a low moan in his throat and leaned in as if to kiss her again but he just touched his forehead to hers while his arms circled her lithe waist.
“Lotte…you sure you want this.” He asked. He was concerned only because Lotte had gone through hell and back and Intimacy, or anything sexual that felt good was unfamiliar territory for her. He wanted, no, needed to make sure she would be okay with having sex, even if his own need strained against his pants.
“I trust you. You haven’t given me any reason not to.” Her voice was barely above a whisper but only because it was hard for her to speak. She poked her tongue out from between her lips to moisten them. Ronon cupped her cheek with his hand inhaling deeply to maintain control of his more baser desires.
“Bedroom. Now.” He said in almost a growl. Lotte replied with a singular nod and then headed that way, almost stripping as she went. Ronon remained behind for a moment to gather his thoughts and reign in his arousal. If he was going to fuck Lotte then he was going to make it feel good for her, even if he could smell her fear.


The bedroom was monochrome grey and the bed was large enough to fit both of them comfortably. Lotte was laying upon it, wearing nothing but her undergarments figuring it would be a nice to have Ronon undress her. She fidgeted, staring at the ceiling, heart thundering in her chest, and took a few deep breaths to clear her mind. Truth was she was a bit nervous and scared, not because he hadn’t seen her naked, they had seen each other nude plenty of times and every time resulted in some form of physical touching. Maybe it was because anytime she had sex it was a forced act and thrust upon her. Usually resulting in a lot of pain and humiliation. But there was no one here to watch her, only Ronon. Not only would he be watching her enjoy this but he’d be participating. Closing her eyes, she drew in a deep breath before she sat up to the sound of shuffling. Ronon entered the bedroom, already half naked and a gleam in his eyes, a mix of lust and adoration for her. His muscles rippled under his skin as he stalked towards her and sat on the bed beside her. Dexterous fingers reached out to trace the cleft between her breasts and beneath them. Lotte shivered as he did this but released a small gasp when he slid behind her and slid his hands underneath he bra to cup her breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze. His lips were beside her ear now as he pressed a kiss to her hair.
“Remember, if you ever want me to stop then I will.” He whispered before gently nipping at the shell of her ear. Lotte had no words but a whimper as his teeth enclosed upon her ear. His large hands kneaded her sizable breasts, pinching the nipples lightly between his thumb and forefinger and rolling the gently to bring them to their peak. His hand abandoned a breast for a moment just to remove the bra that clad them. When he unclasped it, the bra fell forward, revealing Lotte’s breasts in full and his hand slowly drew the piece of clothing off of her and tossed it to the floor. His lips now pressed to her shoulder, kissing it ever so lightly as his free had trailed down her toned torso and allowed his fingers to trace the hem of her panties. Lotte squirmed a bit in delight at this, but she squirmed a bit more as his lips trailed up her neck, now biting and nipping it lightly. She slid her hand up his neck, burying her face into it lightly as her hand cupped the back of his head, almost gripping the dreadlocks that hung loosely around his face. And his hand plunged beneath her panties sliding down to her sex, stroking it lightly. He groaned a bit at hearing her whimper and moan when his fingers brushed against the sensitive bud of nerves. She could even feel his erection through his pants, pressing into her back.
“Ronon…” She breathed and squirmed a bit as he pinched at her clitoris.
“What do you want Lotte. Tell me.” He asked as he pressed a kiss to her head.
“Please…don’t stop…” She begged and released a loud gasp as he plunged two fingers into her moist wet sex.
“I won’t unless you tell me to.” He turned his head to capture her parted lips, thrusting his fingers in and out of her sex. But even as he did so he was greeted with the mental image of plunging into her. That alone gave him reason to groan low in his throat as his lips parted for her. Lotte took initiative, whimpering and slipping her tongue into his mouth to lick along his, and fight it for dominance, She suckled upon the muscle groaning as she felt her peak coming closer. Ronon must have felt it to for he broke the kiss and remove his hands form her only to assist her in shifting onto her back. He hovered above her moment as she lay beneath him, cheeks a flush with desire, panties concealing her sex, and half lidded eyes gazing up at him. Leaning in to kiss his, he took two fingers and drew her panties off her hips and down her legs before tossing them aside, but he reached for his own belt on his pants but felt her hand touch his. Glancing to her, confused, he met her eyes.
“Let me…please.” She asked.
The mere thought of her blowing him was enough to relinquish his hands upon his belt. He would never make her do anything she wanted, but she hadn’t hinted at not stopping the session. If Lotte wanted to get him off and suck his cock then she would of her free will. He wouldn’t dare force her to. She leaned up to place soft kisses upon his chest and collarbone as her hands unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants before sliding them down off of his hips. Her hand brushed against his aching manhood and the slight touch caused him to groan. And before she could even lean her head in to take his length into her mouth he held up a hand to pause her and removes the offending clothing from his body, tossing it with the rest of their abandoned clothing. His hands cupped her face in them, just gazing upon her.
“Lotte…” He whispered.
“Please Ronon…let me…”she replied as her fingers curled around his length. Drawing in a breath with a hiss, and closing his eyes he nodded as his hands rested upon her shoulders. She in turn leaned down and stroked his length a bit, her eyes focused upon it. She wondered for a moment what he would taste like. It only seemed fair that she got to, and besides, he wouldn’t fuck her mouth unwillingly. Lotte then parted her lips and took the head of his cock into her mouth, drawing him in a bit before she pulled away. Leaning his head back he stroked her soft brunette locks gently and released a throaty groan. Lotte repeated her pattern finding that she enjoyed making him groan then removed her mouth completely before running her tongue along his shaft, taking her time in licking and teasing him. Gods her mouth felt so amazing, her tongue even. Lotte was talented with her tongue, as she was with dance and alchemy. It was so hard not to just blow his load into her mouth. He was having a difficult time holding back his orgasm and didn’t want to come before he had the chance to be inside of her. Besides they would always have time for more foreplay….if Lotte enjoyed the sex. She had just licked along the underside of his penis and was about to take him into her mouth again, but he took her chin gently in his hand, guiding her eyes up to him. Now he looked like he was begging.
“Ronon?” She inquired.
“Didn’t…didn’t want to come too soon…” He replied before guiding her to her knees then back onto her back his hand slipping to its favorite place, between her legs. She was still wet. Good. Although it wouldn’t be enough for an easy entry. He leaned down, kissing her gently as he added two fingers to her again, stretching her for his girth. Melena almost couldn’t handle him when she was alive even with preparation and he was hoping that Lotte wouldn’t face the same fate. She pulled away slightly and cupped his face in her hand stroking it lightly, still a little frightened at the prospect of having sex.
“You aren’t going to - ” She began but he cut her off with a kiss.
“I wouldn’t dream of it. Where’s the lube.”
Lotte heaved a deep breath and reached underneath the pillow beneath her head and provided a small bottle, that still had a bit of the clear oil in it. She pressed it into his hand, her own clutching his forearm lightly. With a moment of hesitation she parted her legs for him, eager and anxious all at once. He leaned back upon his knees, popping the cork off the vial of oil and pours a small amount into his hand before coating his member with it. Once it had been slickened he settles his hips between hers, the tip of his cock just barely teasing her. His green eyes locked with her blue ones and his hand reached up to stroke her cheek.
“You sure you still want this?” He asked tenderly.
Lotte hesitated. So close, she was so close to going all the way and so close to getting over this fear. Nothing was going to stop her.
“Yes…I want to know what it is like when I agree to sex.”
That was enough for him. He kissed her forehead lightly and took his length in hand before he eased himself into her. Her legs lifted slightly as he slid into her, she almost tensed but once glance up at him and Lotte knew she was safe in his hands, safe in his care. When he finally sheathed himself inside of her Ronon paused to glance down just to make sure she was okay.
“Lotte…” he breathed. Blue met green again and Lotte broke into a smile.
“I’m…I’m okay…you feel amazing…” She replied and arched a bit as he ground his hips into hers slightly. And it was true. He felt amazing inside of her. Yeah he stretched her a bit but the sensation felt amazing because it was Ronon.
“Continue…” She breathed. And he obliged. He leaned forwards, her legs pressed against his biceps as he began a slow pace of thrusting into her. Gods have mercy she felt amazing around him, Tight, wet, and warm. A small growl left his throat as he increased the pace, shifting so one of her legs rested against his shoulder and the other upon the bed. Lotte released a whimper at this but gasps when he penetrated deep into her, his tongue and lips trailing kisses along her calf as he increased the pace of thrusting. She couldn’t believe how good he felt inside of her as he increased the pace. Blindly groping the air for his hand she let out a high pitched moan as he switched his angle to thrust up at her sweet spot. He grasped her hand with his while the other held its grip upon her hip.
“Gods…Ronon…” She groaned. And he grinned before lowering her leg now looming over her, a hand now sliding around her waist while the other pressed against the bed held him upright. When he did this Lotte’s arms wrapped around his neck, fingers digging into his shoulders as his pace became almost brutal. It felt so good, she wanted more. She didn’t care if he bruised her or made her sore. Ronon grunted as he pumped his hips into hers, maintaining the same angle so Lotte would squeal, writhe and moan.
She did. It was hard to control herself as the tip of his cock stroked that spot of hers over and over again. He didn’t let up though and Lotte almost couldn’t handle it. Heat stirred in her loins, pressure, a good pressure built between her hips and before she could warn him she dug her nails into his shoulders and buried her face against his chest as her mouth opened to scream. Lotte had hit orgasm. Her muscled tightened and spasmed around him even as he continued to thrust into her. White flashed before her eyes and the surges of pure ecstasy were all released in that moment. A few more thrusts and Ronon pulled out abruptly before stroking himself to finish. A few strokes and he released his milky white seed onto Lotte’s belly and breasts. A groan accompanied his orgasm as he milked himself dry. By the gods the sex was incredible. He collapsed next to Lotte, nearly out of breath, even for a Chimera, sex could be exhausting, and turned onto his back. Lotte slowly scooted close to him curling up beside him, her head resting upon his chest. Lazily he wrapped an arm around her.
“Sweet Ishvaala….Ronon…” she breathed with a smile. He smiled as well, fingers stroking her side lightly.
“Enjoy…yourself…” He panted glancing to her.
“Yes…gods…I never knew…”
“Now you do…”
She nuzzled his chest and kissed it lightly.
“Thank you Ronon…” She whispered. And he hugged her close to him, not wanting to let her go.
“You’re welcome…Charlotte…”
It always meant a lot to Lotte when someone she deeply cared about used her name in such a loving manner. And hearing Ronon utter it was just pure bliss.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Distraction

So I haven't had this problem in a while but it snuck up on me and has thrown me off course since Wednesday. I've been struggling to get through my day. I have not slept much, or eaten much because this is something that is consuming my life and thoughts. And I shouldn't let it. I am so frustrated when something like this happens and I am not going to let this stupid thing take over my life. Because dammit its not worth the effort and energy. Besides nothing in life is certain save for death and taxes. This is a huge fear that I have struggled with since i was 13 years old...its been ten years now and I am tired of it. I'm not going to let it get me down or shove me off course...its not worth it. So from today I will be taking a moment of my day to pray, meditate, clear my mind, and shove this stupid thing out of my head. Also I have daily affirmations posted on my bathroom mirror to help me out so I can see them every day. Its a daily struggle but I will survive until I get over this obstacle.

Friday, March 8, 2013

Colour



When I look at a theater
I see what some others do not
I don't see just an empty stage
With curtains, drapes, and equipment
And I don't just see a black box
With chairs arranged so neatly in a row
Or an open field
With green grass as the seating
I see an empty canvas
For pictures being painted upon the stage
The light bathing it
The set as the canvas
And people as the palettes of color
Painting out the story
Imagination is flowing forth
As the story swells and rises
The colors and strokes morph and change
To make the story clearer
Not one color
Can paint a pretty scene
On an empty stage
Multitudes are required
To evoke the feelings of
Sadness
Pain
Love
Happiness
And anger
For the canvas
Cannot rely
On one color alone.
Where there is light
There is dark
Where light is shone
A shadow is cast
And where there are people
To watch
And interpret
The story
Then all is right with the world
All the world is a stage
But the stage always needs
Colour

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Scream and Shout, Let it Out: Part One

In terms of it being a high security facility, Doctor Bates did not expect it to hold highly unstable figures. As a guard led him down the bleak stone corridors, lined with mangy cells, some empty, and some filled with individuals in strait jackets, or muzzles in some cases, or some just in rags. But as he passed each cell, the eyes followed him, like those of a portrait in an old mansion. He came into view and immediately the individual in the cell raised their head, stopped their nervous ticks or brooding and stared. Their eyes bore into him. He was a stranger to them. Someone new. Fresh meat. But Dr. Bates had no fear of these people. He'd spent years studying extreme cases of psychological problems in experiments, not that he condoned the practice of human experimentation, but felt that studying it would give him a way to help. He even glanced to the individuals as he passed their cells. Once he was out of view many of the patients in the cages crept up to the iron bars and tried to stare after him. He glanced back, a small warm smile on his face before he was lead through a steel door to another part of the facility. They watched as the door shut then slunk back into their respective corners or chairs.
"This part of the facility holds the more docile of the patients, they are still highly unstable but none of them are animals like those in the dungeon." The guard explained as they passed by steel doors with small windows. Dr. Bates merely nodded slowly as his lips tightened into a line at the comment.
No human being was an animal. And being treated as such was a crime against humanity. At least in Bates' mind that was how it went. But he never let it show. He remained silent as he was lead down to a cell at the very end. The guard took a step to the side, standing rigid as if he was anxious about something. Bates glanced to him raising a brow.
"Anxious there Private Donaldson?" He inquired. The soldier swallowed but shook his head. The swallow gave away everything Bates needed to know. He made no further comment as the door was unlocked for him and he stepped inside.
In the corner was huddled a man, a young looking man, with shorter messy dark brown hair, his grey eyes glancing out of the window as his arms were protectively circled around a young brunette female who clung to him as if he were a life raft. Judging by the redness of her nose and the puffiness under her eyes the young lady had been crying. There were bruises on both of their arms, near the crooks of their elbows. The bruises seemed to not bother the man but they seemed to cause the female pain.
"She is going through withdrawals." Muttered the man as he glanced to the female in his arms. There was a very neutral tone to his voice, something he probably practiced.
"And judging by the way you are holding her, she is special to you."
Grey eyes, like those of an overcast day, shot over to Dr. Bates. His face held no emotion whatsoever but everything in those eyes told Bates what he needed to know.
"Sister I'm guessing." Bates commented. He caught the very brief expression of surprise on the man's face and smiled a little at him. No one had been able to guess that the two were related up until now. The woman flinched, her nails digging into the patient's skin and she cried out.
"It burns!" She exclaimed as she clawed at his bare arm, leaving red marks in her wake. He in turn tightened his hold on her a hand going to her tangled brown locks and stroking them whispering to her:
            "Scream, shout, let it out." He repeated in a slow monotonous pattern. And that is exactly what she did. She screamed at the top of her lungs, a shrill scream that sent shivers up the spine of the good doctor. It was agonizing to listen to hear. It was not a scream of fear or anger but anguish.
A woman screaming in anguish was something the good doctor did not condone.
The brunette violently thrashed in her brother's grip as she screamed and clawed, and shouted in sheer agony. It felt like fire was surging through her veins, burning every inch of tissue in her being. Throughout the fit he held onto her, tightly, still repeating the same phrase over and over again in a low voice. While his face remained unchanging Bates noticed a tear slip down his cheek. Even he felt the young woman's pain. Her thrashing died down as she fell limp in her brother's arms. He rearranged her in them to make her more comfortable, ignoring the claw marks she had left in her wake. More tears began to streak her cheeks as she wept. Bates had a hard time masking his emotions, but nonetheless he did not want to hint how much it disturbed him that humans were being treated in such a manner.
"Are we alone?" Bates asked. The question was simple enough but his tone asked more than what he let on. He needed to know if there were cameras or any bugs in the room. The man raised a brow at him as his eyes narrowed.
"Why do you want to know…"
Bates glanced to the door to see the guard peer in, shot him a dirty look then crouched on the floor near the man and his sister. The man hugged his sister closer to him protectively, and she in return huddled into his body for comfort. Her hands clung to his bicep and his shirt. Bates noticed and kept his voice low.
"I want to help you."
The man growled slightly, his upper lip curling into a snarl.
"Bullshit."
But Bates shook his head. His blue eyes held nothing but honesty. If anyone could tell what he was thinking or feeling they would have to take one look at his eyes.
"My name is Gerard Bates. I am supposedly the staff psychologist here, only to give my opinions on a patient's behavior."
He wasn't telling the whole truth. The man knew that. He could tell just by the inflection of a voice when a person was concealing something.
"You're lying…" he sneered.
"Only telling half-truth. That isn't lying."
"You're just like them…"
Bates only smiled at him but heard the door open.
"Dr. Bates."
A young man dressed in a nurse's uniform peered into the room. He appeared to be about the patient's age, and his deep blue eyes held a look of worry for the patient and his sister. Bates glanced up as well just smiling.
"The head doctor would like to speak with you and have you observe a procedure…" He sounded as if it was something abominable. Bates caught the worry lines in his brows but nodded and glanced to the patient before rising to his feet.
"I will be visiting you again."
With that last statement he left the room leaving the nurse alone with the patients. He shut the door and quickly rushed to the side of the two.
"He didn't hurt either of you did he?" Blue eyes glanced from the man to the woman but the man shook his head glancing to the door where Bates had exited.
"He looked like he wanted to help us…"
The woman whimpered a bit. Both men glanced to her but it as the patient who began stroking the side of her face gently.
"Shhh Lotte shhh…" he soothed.
"She's not taking well to the injections…"
"No."
The male nurse gave the man a worried look.
"She'll get sent to the dungeon with the wild ones if there isn't any improvement."
"They'll destroy her down there…you know that…I can't let that happen…not to my sister…"
"I know Jack…I know…"
Jack grasped onto the nurse's arm a frightened look in his eyes.
"Don't let my girl go down there Jonathan…please. Don't let her go down there."
Jonathan grasped his hand tightly.
"I'll do my best to make sure she doesn't end up down there. I promise."

Thursday, February 28, 2013

drabble


There were nights where the shack was frigid as the arctic, and then there were times where it was as hot as the fires of hades. That night however it was not to hot and not too cold but it was very humid. Rain had begun to pour down and Leon could only sit gazing out the window, clutching a blanket around his thin frame. The shack wasn't horribly bad and his companion wasn't all that unagreeable. But he did wish for the companionship of his twin brother, and his younger sister. A sigh left his lips as he watched the droplets cling to the hazy window and slip down the pane. A tear mimicked one of the droplets as it dripped down his face.
"Thinking about your siblings again Leon?"
Leon was woken out of his daze when he heard the low voice of his companion beside him. When did he get there? Blue eyes held concern for Leon; it was reminiscent of Alex's gaze when Alex was worried about him. But Leon closed his eyes and glanced away curling into himself even more. He flinched when he felt a hand on his shoulder but relaxes when it gave his shoulder a gentle reassuring squeeze.
"We'll be leaving soon. Can't stay in this shack for too much longer."
Leaving the shack. Was it possible?